August 18, 2009

Think Practical

I like to have some people that I can look up to with full admirations, because I find it contagious. My previous experience was to look at people who lives independently like some friends I have. I adore them, took them as my back up plan in life. At the moment I thought of that, I was slowly heading to where they are. Once I was in it, I didn't like it. It was not me to be independent, I like to be with people. I had the chance to live on my own in an empty house belonged to my parents but I didn't like it. Sure I tried to live for few days there then I came back to my parents'. I rather stayed with parents whether they like it or not. I love to be with a family and I prayed that I have a family of my own. That's how it worked for me. I have my own family by praying to have one.
I admired my sister's house that is very cosy and western's style. The nook where she has for breakfast that she loved it the most of the house. I loved it so much too as we are asian hardly to find a nook in a kitchen, I love lounging at her nook by the windows at the fountains where the koi fish swim and hide under the water plants. I was admiring and thinking one day I should have one nook like a western house has a bar with stools you know what I mean hehe, I have one now in my dry kitchen. Small one as in coffee shop and I love it. The plain nook gives me desire to cook while talking to the people sitting there make things colourful.

My car was stolen. I didn't have a car for sometimes, I was worried to have a new one because my brother would think that I am independent and he didn't have to worry to bring me for lounging with his friends. I wanted to follow him to spend the weekends because I know most of his friends. They always hangout in group, with me in was not a crowd at all, I didn't know he liked it or not as long I was out from the house :) Though I delayed to buy a car as the focus was having a boyfriend who fetches me with a nice car, the pressure of buying a car was there coz I was working in a department that the colleagues were fresh graduates. Every two or three months, one colleague bought a new car then another colleague who I hanged around with bought for her parents and she was getting married. Back in my mind, I had to buy a car though we were surrounded with cars that I can borrow. Now I have two cars, one is a dream car and I'm trying to let go the one that I bought by need. As I drove the need car, the dreamed car overtook me, I thought of having the dreamed car. I told my mom, it is possible right to have that one quote unquote... When you have a car, you are not just a car owner but a driver and now I have to dream that I am a passenger in my own car whenever I like it:) Only then I get to sit and enjoy the ride. I hope you observed that I mentioned a passenger in my own car. I just have to becareful of what I'm wishing for. Be specific as God will grant you definitely Godwill, with the help of my parents' prayers as well. My sister used to teach me how to pray, With tears should you tag ;)

My parents always had the idea to be served, I guess they were tired of serving though we had helper while we were little. They didn't like stranger as a helper in the house but they like to be served. Their lifestyle turned up different than others. They were always having meals outside in a nice or not nice restaurants. That's how they like it. And they deserved it. All in the states of mind, I guessed.

Mmm what else hehe...I'm digging out, what's happening is really happened. I guess now I'm back admiring people with a happy family who lives in a nice place so that I will be in it. Well I am in it just to think practically having it and feeling it. Or maybe imagine myself having a daughter as my best friend, cool ya :) Like my mom and my sister or mom with me. Or being a good writer with good grammars and good vocabs. Oh...Nice.


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