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March 27, 2013

Komunikasi dgn bakal suami/communicatio wt grooms to be

...english version below. Tnanks :)

Situasi pertama yang sudah ada bakal jodoh.
Kawan saya selalu bertanya mcm mana la dengan bakal suaminya ini, bila di tanya tentang kahwin, jawapannya tanya Tuhan, asyik2 sama ja jawapannya.

Jadi saya cerita tentang kawan saya yang lama berkawan dengan bakal suaminya yang sangat mengambil berat tentangnya, weekend keluar bersama-sama membeli barang keperluan rumah masing-masing. Kawan saya kematian ibu, memang rasa beruntung ada bakal suami menemaninya kemana sahaja. Tapi bakal suami ini tidak pernah ajak kawin atau bercakap tentang kahwin, bila ditanya jawapannya Tanya tuhan ada sebut pasal kos tinggi lagi bila kahwin) Kawan saya pula menasihati si bakal suami tu macam makcik2 untuk masa depan si bakal suami dimana ini salah. (Sila jadi bakal isteri yang manja..bekelakuan baik supaya diikuti tanpa berhujah untuk memberi peluang si bakal suami menjadi lelaki yang gentleman)

Jadi nasihat saya padanya...bila bakal suami call, cakap "nak keluar tapi ahli keluarga datang atau ada hal, roomate minta tolong...
Bila bakal suami pelawa nak jemput dari pejabat dan hantar ke rumah singgah minum makan (bestkan?;) tapi cakap bestnya tapi ada hal keluarga...(hal diri sendiri pun hal keluarga atau hal personal pun) mesti bagi sebab nak keluar tapi tak boleh dengan "sebab" diberi bersama...biar dia nampak message yang kita sampaikan "mahu tapi tak boleh" "suka keluar dengan dia tapi ada hal keluarga" penting beritahu yang kita mahu dekat bakal suami (direct), seronok dengan bakal suami beritahu dalam telefon saja :) mesti bagi sebab nanti dia ingat kita elakkan dia.

Saya juga suggest pada kawan supaya biasakan bersama keluarga. Telefon biar "on" untuk bakal suami call. Sebab kawan tinggal bujang...jadi biar bakal suami tahu walaupun tinggal bujang tapi masih ambil peluang untuk bersama keluarga. Dan sekali-sekala cakap "mahu kahwin bukan jom kahwin atau bila nak kahwin)

Jadi kawan saya buat aktiviti dengan keluarga, bawa bapanya yang kematian isteri bersiar-siar di hujung minggu tapi bagitau bakal suami seronok lagi keluar dengan dia tapi tak boleh. Dari situ, bakal suaminya ajak kawin sebab kawan saya sememangnya mahu ...sebab berkawan dengan berhasrat hendak kahwin tapi susah jumpa...Alhamdulillah...dah ada anak satu dah ...

moral cerita - bakal suaminya tinggal dengan family, bila groceries ada orang teman rasa tak sunyikan...balik rumah ada keluarga adik semua...tak terasa perlu kahwin tapi bila tiada kawan lepas kerja, tiada kawan makan kat luar..balik seorang diri dalam kereta ( barulah dia fikir perlu kahwin)

Desire, direct, destiny.
with love,
Baby

.

First situation of a friend who already has the future husband

My friend told me that her future husband refused to speak about marriage, when she asked him about marriage, he would answer "ask God". as if he didnt want her to get frustrated.

Im going to share more about a friend of mine who has a future husband who is caring, company her wherever and even doing groceries together for each of their homes. Her mom died and her dad lives alone outskirt of the city. For having a future husband to company her is more than grateful. Obviously the future husband has no intention to get married as when asked the same answer came out "ask God" sometime mention marriage is costly'. This makes my friend to advice him like elderly aunties which is not right (Please be a romantic future wife, act nicely to be followed without words).

My advice to her, when the future husband call and ask out, excitedly answer, I want but I can't because family matter or personal matter, mention reason is good.

When the future husband offers to pick-up and send you home, and stop for dining sounds nice right but say, wow i want but I can't my relatives something.. it is important to convey the message that you want but you can not because you have something came up. Tell him that you enjoy going out with him but you can't go out with him because your relatives come or you need to work for family, please tell the reason so that he didnt think he is avoided. (once in the while mention that you want to get married not say lets get married or when are we getting married but I want to get married).

So my friend made activities with her dad in the weekends, but tell the future husband it is more fun to go out with him but she cant...so now they have a kid already..Alhamdulillah.

moral of the story - the future husband lives with family, so at home he will never feel lonely but to do groceries alone is not nice, going back home alone and no one to have dinner out with, makes  hime feel the need to get married with the one who cares for him.


mahu, mohon, makbul,
salam sayang,
babY


Harap kawan2 yang disayangi, boleh berkongsi bagaimana hendak berkenalan dengan bakal suami :) Saya rasa saya boleh kongsi untuk post akan datang :)